Hey friend,
There was a time I considered someone a close friend, and I expected her to show up for me in a particular way. I never said it out loud. I just assumed she would know. When she did not respond the way I imagined, it genuinely hurt me.
But after thinking about it deeply, I realised that the expectation existed only in my head. I had placed her in a role that she did not even know she was playing. And maybe, in her mind, our friendship was not defined the same way. Once I adjusted that expectation, the pain lost its power.
Many of the disappointments we feel in friendship come from the things we never say. The needs we hope others will guess. The roles we silently assign. The standards we assume are obvious.
Unspoken expectations create silent pressure for both people. Naming them creates clarity, and clarity protects the connection.
Question:
Is there a friendship where you are holding an expectation you have never expressed?