Hey friend,
As I was writing last week’s note, I started thinking about something that is not talked about enough.
Most of us exist in more than one circle. There is that work friend who knows how you operate under pressure. The childhood friend who remembers who you were before life got complicated. The friend you made recently who only knows the version of you that has already done some growing.
Each of them holds something real. But none of them holds the full picture.
And for a long time, I think I had some weird comfort in that. In being known in parts. Each circle had a version of me that felt appropriate for the context we had. It felt like how friendships naturally work.
But then I started to notice something.
Whenever two different circles would overlap, something in me would tighten. A self-consciousness I could not fully explain at the time. Like I was afraid that those two parts meeting would expose something I was not ready for anyone to see.
It felt strange. But looking back, I think I understand it better now.
I preferred to be hidden. I was still a little unsure, and so I did not want to be seen too fully. Essentially, I was not grounded in who I was.
But now? I would probably welcome that meeting. Actually, I will look forward to it. Because it would show me how much has changed. How much inner work has happened. I am not afraid of my flaws or my mistakes being revealed anymore. I already know them. I guess there is less to hide when you are already doing the work of facing yourself.
I am learning that the friendships that have grown the most in my life are not the ones tethered to just one version of me. They are the ones that have experienced more than one version, and stayed anyway.
Question:
Do you know yourself well enough to be the same person in every space?