Hey friend,
Seun and Ore are friends. Seun had just achieved a significant career milestone, and Ore is now ambitiously pursuing the same path.
Watching their friendship made me reflect on something delicate, and on how the very same experience can land so differently in friendship.
The same achievement that became fuel for Ore could easily have become pain in another.
What inspired Ore may have caused comparison or grief in another. And that difference is not necessarily a failure. Not yet anyway. It is human.
I have been on both sides of this table.
I have celebrated friends whose wins lifted me and reminded me of what was possible. I have also dealt with a weird discomfort of seeing someone achieve something I really desired for myself. Both experiences are real.
The important work is not pretending we do not feel these things. It is acknowledging the emotion, accepting what it is, and then choosing what we do in spite of it.
Do we let resentment grow, or do we do the inner work?
Do we secretly compete, or consciously choose to celebrate?
Healthy friendship does not mean feeling nothing. It means recognising what we feel, taking responsibility for it, and having the courage to confront and grow through it.
Names used in this reflection are fictional.
Question:
When friends succeed, what emotions come up for you and how do you usually respond to them?