Hey friend,
So, I have generally been someone who likes her friends building friendships outside of me. The more the merrier. That has typically been my instinct.
But I will be honest with you. As I have watched certain individual friendships in my circles grow closer to each other, I have felt a tinge of something. I am not even sure I have the right name for it. Jealousy? Feeling left out? I genuinely do not know. But it was there.
I have a friend who does this thing so well. She has different friends for different reasons. It is like she easily figured out everyone’s strengths and knows exactly who to call for what. For a long time, it bothered me a little. Until I started doing it myself lol.
I also remember the slight nerves I used to feel when I had to bring my different friend circles together for a birthday or something. I would be wondering, will they get along? Will it be awkward?
Looking back, a lot of that nervousness was not really about them. It was about me. Being the common denominator has its own kind of pressure. When you are the reason different people are in the same space, it can feel like you are responsible for how it all goes. Like you owe everyone a good experience.
What I am learning is that my friendships do not need me to manage them into working. There should be a freedom in letting them just be, whether things click or they do not and when my friends can get along without me, it is not a threat. It is actually a gift. It means the bond is bigger than one person.
Question:
Have you ever felt like the glue in your friend group? What did that feel like?
P.S. In case you missed it, I was recently on a podcast Watch the full conversation