Hey friend,
So, this month, I have been on a secondary school tour and during one of my one-on-one sessions, a student shared something significant.
She had recently moved to the school, but the same pattern kept repeating itself. She felt like people did not really like her. She would try to help others and be there for them, but when she needed them, they pulled away or ignored her.
She did not understand why.
So I asked her a question:
“How do you see yourself?”
She looked at me, confused.
Then I asked her to describe herself, to tell me what she thought about herself.
After waiting a moment, she said two things. Both were negative. She described herself as childish and judgemental.
I asked what else.
She had nothing more to say.
That moment did something to me.
Because it made me realise something we do not talk about enough in friendship.
Sometimes, the way we experience people is deeply connected to the way we see ourselves.
If I struggle to see value in myself, it becomes difficult to believe that others will genuinely value me. If you do not like yourself, it often shows up subtly in how you relate, how you interpret people’s actions, and what you tolerate.
Friendship is not only about finding the right people. It is also about becoming someone who can recognise, receive, and maintain healthy connections.
A lot of times, the work is not out there. It begins within.
Question:
How do you truly see yourself, and how is that shaping your friendships?