Hey friend,
Recently, I had a one-on-one conversation that was such a reminder.
As I listened, something about the dynamic she was describing seemed very familiar. I had lived it too, but in a different way.
There was a season in my life where I was dealing with a lot internally, things I had not processed, things I had buried, and things I was a little ashamed of.
And without fully realising it, I began to build a deep emotional safety around my friendships.
I placed friends in a position where they became my “safest space.” The place where I believed I would not experience rejection, where my need for comfort, reassurance and acceptance would always be met.
At the time, it felt normal. It even felt justified.
But looking back now, I can see that what I was really doing was asking them to heal wounds they did not cause.
That was not fair.
What I observed during that call and what I am learning is that sometimes, the expectations we place on friendships are not just about the now. They are connected to deeper parts of us, parts that we may not have fully dealt with.
And when those friendships do not serve us in the exact way we expect, we can feel hurt, confused, and disappointed.
But the truth is, they were never meant to carry that weight.
They are human. That work is ours.
And in my own journey, what I was really searching for could not be found in people, no matter how well-meaning they were.
It required honesty with myself. It required deep healing and it required putting things back in their proper place.
Friendship is powerful, but it was not meant to replace what only God can fix.
And when that became clear to me, something changed. I stopped blaming. I started taking responsibility. And I started showing up in a better way. In a healthier way.
Question:
What are you expecting from your friendships right now?