Hey friend,
I recently had a conversation with someone who shared that they are now very careful with people because they do not want to hurt them.
It sounded quite thoughtful at first.
But as we spoke a little more, I asked a different question.
“Is it about not hurting people, or are you trying to avoid being hurt by people?”
They paused… and then said yes.
Sometimes, in trying to avoid hurt, we may also be denying ourselves real connection. Getting to truly know someone will come with some ups and downs, so I am learning that the goal is not a hurt-free friendship. That does not really exist, except where we want things to remain casual and without expectations.
The real question is:
How do we repair when hurt happens?
Because friendship, especially as adults, will require some level of discomfort. Sometimes it looks like having a difficult conversation. Sometimes it looks like letting go of what we want, for a moment.
There is a level of sacrifice involved in having, and being a good friend.
But in an “aura for aura” culture, could we be missing out on what could become a meaningful friendship, simply because we are unwilling to embrace the work that is required?
Comments
One response
Yes